Ally, without McBeal
[Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, events, and incidents are either the products of the author's imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual beings, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.]
When a spirited condo resident Ally Hye takes on her JMC armed with WhatsApp hearsay and half-read AGM minutes, things are bound to get… legally dubious. In this cheeky interview gone sideways, a not-so-gentle grilling uncovers contradictions, comedy, and a chucking worthy of a prime-time news flash. This is a light-hearted jab at amateur legal heroics – the ‘loyar burok’, suburban politics, and the fine line between civic duty and personal vendetta. Warning: side effects may include laughter, second-hand embarrassment, and a newfound respect for AGM minutes.
Ally Hye: Thanks for arranging this interview.
Interviewer: My pleasure. Let’s start with your name. Rather unusual for a Malaysian.
Ally Hye: I know. It’s Ally without the McBeal.
Interviewer: No one’s quite sure where “McBeal” comes from — maybe Northumberland, West Yorkshire, or even French roots.
Ally Hye: Don’t ask me about mine. I didn’t get a say. I was born into it — forty years ago.
Interviewer: So, you’re forty.
Ally Hye: Let’s not get too specific. And in Malaysia, you can’t just change your name or surname — unless it sounds vulgar. Even if my old man cut ties with me or, being Chinese, he goes all-out with a newspaper notice to disown me, I’d still be a Hye. There’s no changing that.
Interviewer: I suppose “Hye” is easier to remember than Lim or Wong.
Ally Hye: Absolutely. And as the name suggests, I always feel high. Not my fault if someone else feels low. Like the caste system — if you're Dalit, that’s your problem. I’m a Hye. I even kept my maiden name after getting married.
Interviewer: Is your husband’s surname Low? Just kidding.
Ally Hye: Funny you should ask — it is. Spelled “Lo”, pronounced “low”. I'd hate to be called Mrs. Ally Lo. Sounds like a plot twist in a sitcom.
Interviewer: Let’s talk about your nickname, loyar burok.
Ally Hye: Well, I do have a law degree. I just never got a TV series. That’s probably where the similarities with Ally McBeal end.
Interviewer: She’s also shorter than you.
Ally Hye: Tell me about it. Some people used to call me “Tally” when puberty decided I should tower over my peers. That’s bullying, by the way.
Interviewer: So, you’re a lawyer?
Ally Hye: Yes and no. I’m not registered like Ms. McBeal. I failed the CLP enough times to be permanently disqualified. It sucks. The system favors local grads. Those of us who studied in the UK or elsewhere have to take the CLP just to qualify here.
Interviewer: Why is it unfair? Even the UK has the SQE now for foreign-qualified lawyers.
Ally Hye: That’s different. Our laws are mostly British in origin. We didn’t even have the CLP until 1984. Between 1957 and then, we were fine without it.
Interviewer: Hong Kong has its OLQE since 1995. Times change.
Ally Hye: I don’t care about Hong Kong or Singapore. Someone should challenge the LPQB in court and settle this once and for all.
Interviewer: Without the CLP or chambering, do you feel your career got derailed?
Ally Hye: I do. I even offered to do chambering for free. Nine months of unpaid legal servitude — no stipend, no perks. Just to get a foot in. But firms thought I was wasting their time. My boyfriend back then — now husband — cheered me on. Still, I got rejected. Such kind of pupillage would’ve looked good on my CV though.
Interviewer: At some point, early career stuff stops mattering.
Ally Hye: True. I’m now a legal adviser at a multinational. Not some local company — a multinational. They don’t care about the CLP as long as I give some legal advice. It’s a comfy job. Less stress than those stuck in chambers, though it pays less. But hey, my husband handles most of the bills. I don’t need much.
Interviewer: So how did this loyar burok nickname stick?
Ally Hye: I don’t see it as a nickname — it’s an accolade. Like a villain in a blockbuster winning Best Actor. Not everyone can be a loyar burok.
Interviewer: What does it mean, exactly?
Ally Hye: Literally? “Bad lawyer” or “inferior lawyer”. Just because I didn’t get admitted to the Bar doesn’t make me inferior. I’m no Dalit. The system’s flawed, not me. I still proudly put LL.B on my business cards.
Interviewer: Fair point.
Ally Hye: “Loyar” is just a localised twist on “lawyer” from colonial days. It’s now a common word for anyone in legal circles.
Interviewer: Still colloquial, right?
Ally Hye: Yep. Dewan Bahasa lists it as colloquial. “Burok” means poor quality, broken, rotten... none of which apply to me, clearly.
Interviewer: Does it carry negative connotations?
Ally Hye: For some, yes. Luckily, my colleagues and business associates never call me that.
Interviewer: But you take it as a compliment, don’t you?
Ally Hye: I do. It means someone who loves debating — verbal duels, heated arguments. Isn’t that what lawyers are trained for? Mind you, not everyone has the chops to argue.
Interviewer: Conveyancing lawyers don’t really argue, though.
Ally Hye: I’m not arguing. I’m explaining. And yes, most conveyancers are glorified clerks. Copy, paste, print. Not exactly courtroom drama.
Interviewer: Do loyar burok types split hairs?
Ally Hye: Some do. Not all.
Interviewer: I read that it can also be used to describe busybodies who interfere too much.
Ally Hye: Not all busybodies are bad. I’m not.
Interviewer: Like not all saints are purely good?
Ally Hye: Something like that.
Interviewer: Got an example where your “busybodiness” helped?
Ally Hye: Sure. A couple of years back, my condo JMC switched to an RFID system for car access. Before that, we used to swipe cards at the boom gate.
Interviewer: And?
Ally Hye: My husband hated it. He’d cloned a card so his mahjong buddy could come over. With RFID, no more sneaky entries.
Interviewer: That’s... illegal, isn’t it I mean the cloned cards?
Ally Hye: Technically, yes. But loads of residents did it, too. No harm done. I think the complainers about cloned cards were the real busybodies.
Interviewer: So what did you do?
Ally Hye: Some people got fined for card cloning. I jumped into our exclusive WhatsApp group — just a small tidy group of owners — and offered to talk to the JMC.
Interviewer: What did you say?
Ally Hye: In my email to the JMC, I didn’t mention cloning. Instead, I said ditching the card system was ridiculous — why fix what’s not broken?
Interviewer: But wasn’t the system broken because of cloning?
Ally Hye: Then management should fix that, not punish everyone. In my email, I said that forcing RFID stickers on car windscreens was a “breach of my fundamental rights as an owner”. I insisted on swiping an access card.
Interviewer: Bold claim. Did it work?
Ally Hye: Nope. They thanked me for my email and said the AGM had approved the RFID system. And that it was not a new decision by the JMC.
Interviewer: Did that sting?
Ally Hye: A bit. We didn’t attend that AGM, so I blamed my husband for not reading the minutes.
Interviewer: So the change affected everyone — even the rebels?
Ally Hye: Yep. But don’t call them rebels please.
Interviewer: Did you feel embarrassed?
Ally Hye: Totally. Made me look like I didn’t know the law. I am a lawyer. My husband made it up to me with a new diamond ring. That helped.
Interviewer: Another example? Maybe in different circumstances.
Ally Hye: Sure. But let’s stick to the condo. After nearly 10 years here, I know the inefficiencies inside out.
Interviewer: Go on.
Ally Hye: In 2022, an AGM resolution was passed to repaint the whole building. By 2024, still no progress. We were all frustrated. Back to the WhatsApp group!
Interviewer: Still an exclusive group?
Ally Hye: Of course. It helps us strategize without interference.
Interviewer: I think you mean deal with the JMC, right?
Ally Hye: I don’t mean “deal” in a shady way. Just... Anyway, I bluntly told the group the JMC was ignoring an AGM mandate. That can't go.
Interviewer: “Mandate” sounds heavy. What did you want from the JMC then?
Ally Hye: Just get started with the repainting. Right away! Their monthly meeting notes showed they were dragging their feet.
Interviewer: Frustrating indeed, if it's true.
Ally Hye: Of course it is true. Why would I lie?
Interviewer: But I know negotiating with contractors take time. Sometimes considerable time.
Ally Hye: I even suggested to group members to sue for negligence. Someone in the group then said we needed legal advice. I kept quiet. No need to show off. Better not stick my head out.
Interviewer: Weren’t you instigating?
Ally Hye: I don’t see it that way. I also told the group the delay was a breach of fiduciary duty.
Interviewer: Now you do sound like a lawyer.
Ally Hye: Do I sound like a loyar burok?
Interviewer: I’m no legal expert. But breach of fiduciary duty is tough to prove.
Ally Hye: That’s the lawyer’s job — whoever our small group of owners plans to hire. Not my job.
Interviewer: Fair. From what I understand, courts look at cumulative actions to decide if there's a breach. Also you guys bear the burden of proving the breach of fiduciary duty. With clear and convincing evidence. Navigating these legal complexities requires the expertise of a lawyer who specializes in fiduciary duty cases. That little I know.
Ally Hye: All I know is — the committee is hopeless.
Interviewer: Is it hard to get on the JMC?
Ally Hye: Not at all. No one wants the job.
Interviewer: What about you?
Ally Hye: I can’t. I’m not a registered owner. My husband is.
Interviewer: I see.
Ally Hye: It frustrates me when people don’t take their responsibilities seriously. The walls were painted white. Now they want to repaint the balcony railings — something other than white. Grey or brown! They say any rust of the metal railings would be easily noticeable if it is painted white.
Interviewer: Logical.
Ally Hye: You don’t say so. All the walls are white!
Interviewer: Doesn’t the committee have the right to choose the color for the repainting?
Ally Hye: The AGM minutes say, stick to the original color. No two ways about it. Who is the committee to decide otherwise.
Interviewer: Fair enough. Have you thought about quoting the AGM minutes when confronting the JMC?
Ally Hye: I haven’t. That’s not my job.
Interviewer: Do you know the exact wording in the minutes regarding the color?
Ally Hye: Not really. My husband says it’s stated as white in there. And others in the WhatsApp group mentioned something like that, too.
Interviewer: Something like that? Confirming what you heard is crucial, no? Earlier, on the RFID issue, you criticized the JMC without knowing the resolution was passed at the AGM — and documented in the minutes. Now again, you say you didn’t attend the more recent AGM, and haven’t read the minutes. Don’t you think, as a legal professional, relying on hearsay is risky?
Ally Hye: What are you trying to say?
Interviewer: Just that loyar burok might be a real fitting title for you, don’t you agree?
Ally Hye: I’m walking out of here.
Interviewer: Hold on. Don’t be like Najib Razak storming out on Mary Ann Jolley in that 2018 101 East interview on Al Jazeera. Just because you don’t like the questions!
(Ally Hye walks off)
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